Class TESOL TESOL

Teacher Self AnalysisBefore looking at the possible ways in which teacher self analysis can be implemented I feel it's important to lay a proper foundation for the subject. In other words, we need to be clear about what we mean by teacher self analysis, and from which base such an activity might take place. Let's first look at the title: Teacher Self Analysis. If we start with the word analysis we see that it implies a subject and an object, the one being analyzed by the other. The subject in this case would be the teacher, and the object of analysis would be the self. The implication here is that there are two separate entities within one supposed super- or uber- entity: the teacher and the self. We might even consider reversing the roles, in which case the self analyzes the teacher. Let's say we examine the 'self'. Does such a separate entity with this label actually exist in reality? If so, where and how does it exist? Most of us will immediately react with "Of course the self exists....this is it's body, it's called Jim Smith or whatever, it lives at that address, it teaches english at that institute, it's married to Mary and has two children etc. etc." We produce a stream of words which point to activities and apparent circumstances and conclude that this proves the existence of this self. It's not that we have to deny any of these stories about who we imagine ourselves to be, but we can ask if this is the only way to look at 'ourselves'. We can also look closer and see what we discover. If we close our eyes and relax we can go looking for this entity we call our 'self' inside, within the apparent confines of our own skin. Where does it appear to reside? Is it in my left foot, my abdomen, the heart area, my head, behind my eyes? Most of us will have a feeling that the 'self' is indeed behind the eyes. This is not strange, because we live in a world which is primarily visually orientated. This text is now being read on a computer screen, and we may or may not be aware of the focus or concentration we use while reading it. Very often it only becomes apparent if we have spent too much time at the computer and our eyes and brain become tired, we might even have a headache, and we find ourselves having to make an effort. We may then experience a kind of ball of tension behind the eyes and conclude that that's the self. However, the fact is that this ball of tension is again a perceived object. The question that begs to be asked is: who or what is the perceiver? Is it a findable separate entity which can be pointed to? Or is there just an ongoing activity, which we can call 'awareness'. We may have discovered in our search for this self that in our consciousness there is a more or less continuous stream of thoughts, images, emotions and sensations. We may see 'ourselves' having a conversation or an argument with another, or performing this or that activity which we plan to do or have done in the past. What's actually happening is that all this action is like a projection on an inner screen, and the only constant factor is the activity of perceiving. Usually though, we are so identified with this image on the inner screen of who we think we are, that we miss the most fundamental aspect of what is actually taking place: the whole drama, however pleasant or unpleasant, is unfolding to ever present awareness. This leads to the following question: OK then, what and where is this awareness? Is it an object, a separate entity that is findable and touchable? Does it have an independent existence? I suggest we don't accept anyone else's ideas or conclusions on this and see if we can find the answer in our own experience, in the same way that we went looking for the self in the experiment sketched above. We can conduct the same kind of experiment with the apparent entity we call the teacher, with the apparent entities called students, and the apparent objects we call words etc. Indeed, anything we subject to this test will be proven to have no separate existence as an independent object. This does'nt mean or imply, by the way, that while driving we can ignore a red stop light, or behave as if cyclists and pedestrians don't really exist! Now you might think: This is all very well, but what relevance does it have to teaching TESOL courses and the role of the teacher? If it's deeply seen by the teacher that what is actually happening here is simply the continuing unfolding of life itself being perceived by awareness, it can open the door to a different quality in our interactions with the students. Because it's clearly seen that being a teacher is simply a function in relation to the student(s) (without students the notion of being a teacher is totally irrelevant, one cannot operate, or even exist in a vacuum.) We see that we are all part of one great shared field, and we can relax into the role that life is playing out through us (in this case that of the teacher). Our normal thought process is so identified with the images it has of itself, it's various conditionings through family background, nationality, education, political structure, culture and religion, that the idea of discovering that I do not exist as a separate entity can be terrifying. Indeed, this fear is the cement that holds the idea of the separate self together. If we can get 'comfortable' with simply being pure awareness, we may discover tremendous freedom and creativity, and a deep sense of wonder and connectedness with the whole of life. We relax into our role and play it with verve!